Ep 16 | Navigating Your Body’s Signals and Needs: The Sensitive Woman with Spark | Highly Sensitive Series
Welcome to Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul. I’m Melissa, and this space is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely, and sense the world in ways that are hard to explain but impossible to ignore. Here we honor your sensitivity as a strength, not something to fix.
I’m just going to briefly touch on the Highly Sensitive Series blog that I’ve been referencing. You can certainly read it at your leisure on my website, realignwithmelissa.com. This is in the body part, part 5: Navigating Your Body’s Signals and Needs. And this again speaks to how your body’s reaction to stress is often more intense and nuanced than others might experience. This is why we need to understand what it means to be someone with this high sensitivity trait. Whether it’s emotional, physical, or environmental, your nervous system and unique design respond with a cascade of reactions — your nervous system, stress hormones, digestion, and recovery time, which is often longer than others might need. Sometimes we may wonder, “Why am I not over this yet?” This is that depth of processing. This isn’t a design flaw. It is a very sophisticated way for your body to process information.
You can always refer to Dr. Elaine Aron’s research if you enjoy reading. In this particular blog, I cite some research from 2012 that you can look into if you choose. But I also want to talk more specifically about what it means to be a highly sensitive person. Some people are well aware of being an HSP, but that doesn’t mean we all understand the complexities within it. Even among the 20 to 30% of us who have this high sensitivity trait, we are all very unique. I see it in myself, in my family of origin, with my children, and with the clients I work with. Discovering how high sensitivity is helpful and supportive for you is what really matters most, because the way our sensitivity shows up is unique to each of us. Our areas of focus or challenges are specific to each of us and our own very unique journeys.
Connecting with our body is really important because many of us don’t yet understand the stress response. Many do not yet know about the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems and why being sympathetic dominant — in that chronic fight-or-flight state — is so unhealthy for us. It increases inflammation in the body, and the mind-body connection cannot be separated. We need to work with the wholeness of who we are so we can relax and recognize the patterns that are present.
You’ve probably heard me say that I was a very high-strung individual. I just thought that was my nature. I didn’t recognize that it was actually dysregulating to my nervous system, my gut health, and increasing inflammation, along with having an autoimmune condition like Hashimoto’s. These are really important things to understand, but I didn’t always know. I’m very passionate about raising awareness because I feel that we all deserve to live healthy, happy, and harmonious lives — riding the ebb and flow of how life goes, but with as much peace and harmony as we possibly can, and of course surrounded by love.
What I really wanted to talk about is that some sensitive individuals may call themselves introverts and may not understand that they are actually highly sensitive, and that’s okay. There’s great work out there on introversion, and it often speaks to those who are actually highly sensitive. About 70% of highly sensitive individuals are introverts, and 30% are extroverts. What I have found is that I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I love my alone time so I can tend to my own needs, and I also feel very energized when I’m around those I resonate with — the same vibe. I’m very extroverted in leadership roles, and that makes it really easy.
I really want you to understand that if you are a highly sensitive person, it’s not a specific label that minimizes your identity. It’s important to me that if you recognize you have this depth of processing — where you take in more stimuli, process it more deeply, and have a more felt sense of interoceptive awareness on the inside and sensory intelligence externally — that’s something to nurture and begin to understand so you can keep yourself healthy. You can recognize earlier signals.
I’ve also talked about artistic sensitives. We have so much beauty in the art world that comes from sensitive individuals because they can see so much more detail and create so much more from this depth of processing. I really want to help shine a light on the beauty of being a highly sensitive individual. It has very intricate layers of how our sensitivity can express. I do call it a gift, even though I’m very aware that it creates challenges for some as they navigate the ups and downs of life, especially if they’ve had childhoods that were challenging and not as supportive as they needed. That’s a process, and we can’t rush it. But I definitely want you to know that as a sensitive individual, you’re not alone. There are evolutionary reasons why some of us have this more finely tuned nervous system and why our neuroanatomy is just a little bit different — so that we have this capacity for higher awareness, to access intelligence, and to access the spiritual realm. It’s just unique for each of us.
This is also a way to help those who have been curious — like, “Why do I react this way? Why do I cry this often or so easily?” This is just a way to understand what can happen for those with this trait. There’s also something I found really helpful. You’ve probably heard me talk about the Human Design system, which is another way to see nuances of how we might be experiencing life and gives another perspective on why we might be living the experiences we are.
But for me, I’ve noticed that I see it like sensitivity with a spark. The sensitivity is that felt sense — both subtle and through your heart and soul guiding you in ways that may sometimes feel confusing and cause you to doubt yourself. You still have this sensitive nervous system, but there’s also this deep desire for meaning, for understanding, and to be with others who resonate with you and your experiences — that “aha, I’m really not alone” feeling. I find that comes through a lot in the women I work with in our one-to-one sessions and in our group sessions. Women who are highly capable, self-sufficient, and leaders in their families, in their careers — whether as entrepreneurs, in the health and wellness field, or in corporations. The point is, as a highly sensitive woman, you have this enormous capacity. What I see is that sometimes that high capacity means you take on more than your nervous system and overall wellness can tolerate. That’s where inflammation can increase in the body. That’s where we may start experiencing digestive upset. That’s where the stress hormones and stress response become more chronic. That’s not a healthy state for anyone, but especially not for highly sensitive individuals.
I used to be a high-strung individual. I just thought that was normal. I thought I needed to stay on top of things — I can’t let anything slip out of my reach. I need to stay on top of my career, my home, my finances, my marriage. And then when kids came along, I need to stay on top of all of their needs too. We become these superwomen who are juggling way more than is actually healthy for us. What is unhealthy with that chronic stress response just becomes abnormal, yet normal for us, because it just becomes what we’re living in — this chronic bracing, this chronic hypervigilance, always ready to jump: What’s needed? What do I need to do next?
I find that it’s with certain types of sensitive women — the ones that have what I call a spark. For myself, it was my heart and soul that would call me toward something. I would just take these courageous leaps or follow my heart and my dreams, even though I had no idea how it was going to work out. When we are sensitive, empathic women taking those courageous leaps, our nervous system is still reacting. Over time, that chronic stress just builds and builds because it needs time. We need to tend to our nervous system. We need to connect with nature, with our breathing, with our body. We need to be able to move into parasympathetic — rest and digest, just relax, be yourself, not on, not ready to jump into action mode. This is me time. And not with a glass of wine or a substance. This is just you getting yourself into that calm and spaciousness.
Now I realize that’s not the easiest thing to do. I speak from my own lived path. As someone who was very high-strung, I did find it difficult to connect with my body and slow down. My attendance at yoga had dropped off by the time I became a mom. There was just so much going on, and it just didn’t fit in. I really want to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with being a highly sensitive woman. It’s a very nuanced gift. The ability to see more beauty and experience deeper awe, love, and appreciation is real. But there’s also that other side, and we need to tend to ourselves. We need to be able to slow down.
I’m speaking each week in a calm tone mostly. Occasionally my passion will kick up and I might talk a little faster, because I’m definitely excited about life and have passion. That’s something I notice in the women who come to work with me — they also have this passion within them, this courageousness within them. Whether it’s moving across the country, whether it’s realizing that the relationship they’re in is no longer aligned with who and what they’re feeling and wanting, it takes courage. It takes that fire, that spark within your heart to say, “I choose me. I choose to go where I’m guided to go, where my heart is calling me forward.” I just really want to honor these women who I can recognize as also who I’ve been. I moved across the country when I was 18. I moved across the country again when I was around 40. Taking aligned action is what I call it. When you’re aligned and true to yourself and your heart, you make these courageous leaps, and that’s not always easy to navigate. It certainly was very challenging for me, and I reached out to the communities that I felt resonated for me, that had the right vibe for me. But it didn’t always line up, and that’s part of the journey. Sometimes we do need to navigate alone, and I found that helpful at times.
Whether you are choosing to walk your path without any additional support from another sensitive woman, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. Whether you feel like you are walking clearly and you are navigating and tending to yourself — awesome. That’s beautiful. Because I know that as a highly sensitive woman, you’re capable. You are high-functioning, you are deeply caring and loving, and you show up and give it your all. I also want to remind you that you’re also very worthy and deserving of receiving support when it would be helpful — whether that support is in slowing down your breathing, connecting with your body and starting to understand it in a deeper way, facing some challenges in your health because of this chronic stress, or navigating away from a relationship or toward some new direction. That can feel scary, no matter how high-functioning and capable we are.
I know for me, I had an experience recently. I was alone, my son was visiting elsewhere, and I just remember feeling alone and momentarily startled. I’ve walked this path for a long time, so I know how to realign very quickly. But I didn’t always. Because of the amazing women I’ve been working with and because of what I’ve been recognizing in these women and in my own journey — these women who have the sensitivity, this depth, are awakening to their own path and purpose more and more and want to trust that inner spark. They want to trust what their heart is guiding them toward. But it feels new. It feels different. And because of this depth of processing, we can take the courageous step, follow our heart, follow that passion and spark that’s lit, and move forward. Then there’s the reflecting, that deep processing that says, “Oh, but was that the right thing to do? How is that going to affect them?” And sometimes that can really weigh on us.
I just want to speak more clearly to the women I’ve been resonating with who come to work with me. If you recognize yourself in anything I’m sharing, I want you to know that you’re invited to join me tomorrow, Thursday, February 19th at 5 p.m., and I’m offering it again on Thursday, March 5th at 5 p.m. It’s *A Moment to Pause, A Space to Inquire*, and it’s an opportunity to just come together with me to see if what I share resonates with you, if it helps you connect with your breath and your body, and just give you some space to relax. That’s my pleasure. I love being able to invite you into that space to just take a break and breathe love. That’s the way I like to say it — just to breathe into that space of love. We need to slow down to do that. That’s why I called it *A Moment to Pause and A Space to Inquire* — so that you can ask any questions and just be in a space with other sensitive women.
I do additionally work with women one-on-one, and I also offer The Re-Aligned Journey, a three-phase spiral of healing and remembrance. I just completed the autumn equinox spiral of that, and I am just beyond grateful and blessed to have walked that journey with amazing, sensitive, empathic, strong, intelligent women. The next one is the spring equinox, so it begins on March 26th at 12 p.m. Pacific on Thursdays, and it meets for 20 sessions. There are 18 core themes that we go through covering the mind, the body, and the spirit. Because as sensitive and deeply intelligent women, it’s a transformational journey to walk when we understand ourselves more, when we can come back into alignment with our own inner guidance.
These are just from my heart to yours, because it’s not the easiest to walk this path. I just want you to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. I am absolutely honored to remind sensitive and strong women that there’s no need to apologize for emotions. There’s no need to apologize for who you are. It really is an honoring and a way to soften into your own heart, let go of any judgment or doubt, and just help you to realign with you.
So this seems like a good time for us to pause and connect with the breath and the body now. Let’s inhale through the nose nice and slow and deep, hydrating your body, and then exhale nice and long and slow out your mouth, and just relax, release, let go of any tension that you may be holding. And again, just continue at your pace. Inhaling, just feeling that air moving through your nostrils. Feeling that exhale coming out your mouth, nice, slow, long, and feeling your shoulders release some tension and relax down. And just again, tuning into you as your breath naturally moves.
You can explore the offerings that I mentioned on my website, realignwithmelissa.com. There’s a links page that will give you shortcuts to find everything as well. But let’s just remember that we are here together to rise — rise up out of old beliefs, old operating systems, old patterns and habits — to rise up into alignment with you and your truth. So we’re here together to rise, to reclaim, to remember, where the heart leads, the body remembers, and the soul awakens. So remember to return to your breath, your body, to what feels true for you right now. There’s nothing you need to fix. Just notice what’s here. You are invited to join me at any of the offerings. It would be my pleasure to support you.
Take good care of you. Much love and light.
For the full written exploration that complements this conversation, visit the companion blog post: Highly Sensitive Series: Navigating Your Body's Signals and Needs https://www.realignwithmelissa.com/blog/highly-sensitive-series-navigating-your-bodys-signals-and-needs
