Ep 33 | Your Own Soul Curriculum: Why There Is No Single Right Way
Welcome to Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul. I’m Melissa, and this space is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely, and sense the world in ways that are hard to explain but impossible to ignore. Here we honor your sensitivity as a strength, not something to fix.
Through reflections, realignment, and soul-led stories, we remember how to move through life in a way that feels true to who we really are. This is your space to rise, to realign, and to come home again and again to your own wise, sensitive, and authentic self.
Last week I spoke about *Beyond the Old Records: Waking Up to Your Sensory Intelligence and the Variety of Paths*. As somebody who, from a Human Design perspective, has an open head and an open Ajna, I really love the fluidity. And of course, being an air sign, Gemini, there’s just — I could get a parade of thoughts and perspectives. And I’ve really come to appreciate this openness and how I’m designed, because it really is beautiful when you notice that there is no one right way.
There just isn’t — whether we’re talking diet, whether we’re talking career, whether we’re talking a lot of the areas where there seems to be “it’s this way or it’s that way.” I’m really somebody who is honoring all paths. Because once you start to really dive more deeply into understanding how the universe operates or how reality unfolds, these are the deeper places that I go, because I have this openness in my design. I’m just deeply curious and fascinated.
And being a 3/5 profile, I’m a pioneer. I’m here to just try and explore and see what works, what doesn’t work, or what makes sense, what doesn’t make sense. And I’m definitely somebody who doesn’t give up, although there are certainly times in my life when I’m just like, “Okay, I’ve had enough. I don’t want to do this anymore.” But those are healthy times, right? Where it’s like, okay, something’s not working. There’s an imbalance, and I just need to sit back and gain a new perspective on what’s happening or just be curious in a new way.
But I’m definitely fascinated with — I mean, I’ve always, in my own adult life, been fascinated by the mind. What is the mind? Where is the mind? There are different ways of talking about the brain and the mind and are they one and the same and how are they different? And what’s operating what? And I’m telling you, there’s just a plethora of perspectives.
And what I’ve come to recognize is that I’m certainly not here to change anybody’s mind. In the sense of, if you believe something and it’s true in your heart and that’s part of your operating system, then that’s yours. And I’m in no way here to tell you you’re wrong. I’ve lived by this philosophy for as long as I can remember — just live and let live. I stay in my lane and I do things my way. And it’s up to me to figure out what actually works for me and what works against me. Because I certainly love living in the flow of abundance, in all of the glory of what that means.
And this is the thing I’ve come to understand too. As highly sensitive individuals, where we have this depth of processing, or taking in more information, we’re processing it on deeper levels. We also deeply care. And oftentimes we, as the highly sensitive who can see what others might not be able to see, we want to help others. We want to be like, “Well, here, if you try this, this will work. You’ll feel better. You’ll have a different experience.” And that’s something that a lot of us have experienced frustration around. Like, why can’t that person see what they’re doing and how that’s not taking them where they want to go? Or why can’t that person realize that that’s just not gonna work out for them?
And it’s important to recognize that as a highly sensitive person, one who may be able to see, sense, feel — that other individual just can’t. Whether that’s because they’re so overwhelmed that they just lack the awareness that they would maybe normally have if stress was not so compounded or chronic.
But the important thing to know is that everybody’s here on their own journey and has their own path, their own soul curriculum. And we don’t know anything about that. I feel that “live and let live” is about each of us just tuning in and understanding ourselves. And when we take the time to tune in, to really understand ourselves, it becomes more about: Well, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What is orbiting for me to pay attention to?
Because sometimes we’re uncomfortable, we’re not ready, or we just don’t know yet how essential it is to be aware of what’s going on for yourself. We often are looking outward — like, why is that person doing that? Or being frustrated with their path. See it as this is about coming back to you. Coming home to who you are. What are you living? What are you experiencing? What are you thinking? What are you feeling?
And that’s what I find — this is what I call what I live, do, breathe, and share with others: the Re-Aligned Journey. Because it really is about continuing to come back to ourselves. Realigning with our authentic heart, voice, rhythm, wisdom, and wildness too.
Again, that other episode before was called *The Privilege of Being Who You Are*. We really are not living freely and authentically as ourselves if we’re looking outward more than inward. Because the number one relationship to focus on and develop is the one with ourselves. And I know I’ve spoken about that before — your body, that’s your best friend. That’s who’s gonna carry you through every experience, every heartache, every excitement, every adventure. Taking care of our own bodies — that’s number one. Listening to it, trusting it, just being aware of what’s arising. And not to try to fix it.
We’ve been in this era of let’s diagnose, pathologize, let’s fix, let’s just keep working at this. And we do it often from that external angle — whether it’s a medication, a surgery, a procedure, or sometimes it’s a gazillion supplements. And it’s just so, so different when we just start reeling things back in and connecting with our own heart’s intelligence and wisdom.
So I just have to share that I have the opportunity to support women of all ages, and primarily they all are highly sensitive. And I support women from 18 on up into the 80s. And I have to say that supporting the younger women is something that I feel so deeply passionate about. Because when I hear — and again, when they feel safe to open up to really share their own innermost thoughts and experiences — oftentimes I’m in awe. Because they’ll talk about something that they say or that they do at times of stress or something. And often I’ll hear them say something like, “I know this is crazy.” Or “Others probably think I’m crazy.” Or “It’s weird.”
And I will just be like, “That is brilliant.” And then I’ll give them the research, the language, to help them understand how what they just shared with me is so powerful. And something that I actually am educating women in the more advanced ages. And I’m just like, “Oh wow.” It’s just beautiful to hear the wisdom that comes out. And also to be able to hold up that mirror that says, “No, this is not crazy. This is brilliance.” And I want you to see how brilliant you really are.
Because when we understand that these beliefs, that again are under the surface, they create a reality that may not be serving us. And we all inherit beliefs from our family, our culture, our ancestors — long lineages. And for many, especially that I work with, you’re the pattern breakers. You’re the ones who are saying, “Why do we do that?” Even when it comes to schooling — just not seeing the value in certain things. And why. And again, this is why I just feel so much joy in supporting younger women especially, because it’s so much easier to help them see their own magnificence and their own brilliance. And to clear out those old belief imprints that don’t serve them. That makes them question their craziness. Which again, it’s not crazy. It’s beautiful. It’s brilliant.
And I just feel so honored and blessed to be a mom in this lifetime. And I have birthed three amazing individuals who — relationships throughout their lives has been challenging because I see it as this humongous spiritual awakening journey that we don’t always understand that that’s what it is. And I know I didn’t, for a big part of my first two children’s childhoods. But the more the old imprinting that I have had to navigate around, the more I let go of that and see them in their brilliance, I’m just like, again, in awe. And I’m just so grateful that they each have stayed true to themselves. And just to see them and listen and hear them in ways that my old conditioning just didn’t allow me to.
And I see that as, yes, number one, being a parent is a spiritual journey. And it’s one that really helps us in the sense of children will really hold that mirror to us. We don’t always recognize that that’s what’s happening. But when we do, it’s just like, “Oh, okay, I see that now.” And it can really deepen your relationship. It can really deepen the level of respect.
But I’ve also just been amazed. I mean, gosh, I remember times when my now adult children used to ask me questions about why I was doing something. And I just remember kind of being dumbfounded. I just kind of sit there and be like, “Hmm. Yeah. Good question. Why am I doing that?” And it’s like, that is such a gift. If we’re not questioning ourselves — like, “Hmm, why am I doing that?” — and then we have somebody in our life, which again for me has been my children, for you if you don’t have children or if you’re still young, there are other people in your life who can ask those questions. Some people have that with conversations with their loved ones who have passed or their pets. I’m just speaking to my journey as a mom because that’s my path.
I have always known I wanted to be a mom and a career mom at that. It really always had a passion for both. But again, back to why it’s just so important to honor your journey, where you are, and what makes it unique.
And I know that sometimes we talk a lot about the importance of community and how loneliness is something that can contribute to a lot of uncomfortable periods in our lives. And for some people it’s really problematic. Me personally, I’ve definitely navigated periods where I felt really lonely. I would say more so because I really wanted to be around people who were kind of waking up more to that spiritual aspect of life. Because this is the thing — with all the people that are living on this planet, we are not all operating at the same level of consciousness, the same level of awareness or understanding. And that’s not a bad or wrong thing. That’s just the nature of reality.
And we each come into these physical bodies and we have brought forward with us whatever our soul has experienced before. And we’re raised with different people who may be part of our soul group, as far as we’ve traveled together before, and so we support each other. But there can also be souls that we’ve met before and then we have a pretty bumpy ride in this lifetime. I really think that that’s an important conversation for more people to understand. Because when we just look at the physical plane and we just look at this earthly material and we just say, “Why aren’t they doing this or why is that happening?” or “Well, this should be this way or that should be that way” — it’s like, again, that’s looking at only what we can see on this physical material plane. And that’s not all that is. Because all that is encompasses the invisible, not just the visible.
And there’s so much research now that I love when research supports what we already know intuitively and what our ancestors already knew. And this is why I’m a holistic psychotherapist, because I have learned through my own journey. I can’t go see a professional who’s only gonna look at my body as one aspect of me, or see my body as the whole because it’s not. My body is an extension of what I’ve inherited, but my environment influences how my body experiences life. My mental experiences influence what my body’s experiencing.
And so it’s really important that as you’re navigating your own waking up to being a sensitive individual, having this sensory intelligence and really reeling it back in to see like, “Okay, why am I feeling so much? Why am I having these big emotions? Why are others potentially questioning me or thinking I overreact?” Because it’s not about what others are thinking or doing. It’s really about what is true for you. That’s what’s worth exploring. Because what you believe is true for you, that’s going to be what you’re experiencing through the reality of what we call this physical plane.
So this is more of what really lights me up to talk about. I do my best to share on each podcast what would be helpful for sensitive souls to hear right now. And I always want you to hear that you are here for a divine purpose, whether you realize it or recognize it or don’t believe in whether you call it the spiritual realm or being a soul or anything like that. I just want you to know that your presence here on this planet at this time truly matters.
And I’m not here to fix you or make you think that there’s anything wrong with you, because everything that you’re each experiencing is the result of what you’ve already lived through and experienced, and how open and discerning you are with your environments.
So I feel like that’s a really important part for me to focus on. Being a mental health professional, being fascinated with the mind, being a Gemini, having my career in integrative mental health and quantum biology for health — it’s important to be including that you are so much more. You are part of something so vast and beautiful, and your path is unfolding in the way that is for your highest and greatest good, even if it doesn’t make sense.
And my invitation is, like I often do on my podcast, take a break and breathe. I say take a break and breathe love because I’ve just woken up to this pure positive love energy that is always flowing to me and through me and surrounds me and supports me. But I didn’t always know how to connect with it when I was experiencing uncomfortableness and challenges. And that’s really why each of our journeys are so unique — what our challenges look like, what our solutions look like, so to speak. There are things that make us contract and compress. And then when we can take a break and breathe love into it, just being present with whatever the challenge is, whatever is arising — that pause, that stillness, that connecting with your breath helps again to bridge you with your own heart’s intelligence and wisdom. With whether you want to call it your higher self, your soul, infinite spirit. Again, there are so many different words to use to describe the journey.
But the important thing to know is that each of us has our own unique beauty and brilliance. And not everyone we interact with, even those we love, may be operating from the same level of consciousness. And that’s not something to fix. We can’t necessarily drag somebody along with us. Believe me, I certainly had hoped that that was how it worked. But I’ve lived and I’ve learned — live and let live. Because I don’t know what somebody else’s soul curriculum is. If there’s a pause in a relationship that I have with someone that I love deeply, I trust that there’s a divine purpose for that pause, for that space. And it doesn’t mean it’s forever. But I honor it because a lot of the old conditioning and beliefs that I might have carried don’t affect me like they used to.
And that’s a really important piece to understand — even when we’ve gone through maybe decades of believing a certain thing, it doesn’t make it so. Except for as long as we’re believing it. And we can transmute it. We can alchemize old beliefs and focus our attention on a new way. That’s what I really want you to know.
So again, whether you’re in your 20s and you’re doubting your own brilliance, know that I see it. I appreciate it. I celebrate it. And I have the Re-Aligned Circle for sensitive and strong women in their 20s, if you’d like to join us once a month to really celebrate you.
I also do offer one-to-one sessions, whether that’s as a therapist or as a consultant. I’m really happy to just be a positive presence for sensitive and strong women navigating out of old conditioning and old beliefs. Because I’m telling you, there’s so much beauty, so many bright lights, so much brilliance.
So I know I mentioned take a break and breathe love, but let’s do that, you know? Maybe take a minute this time. Rub your hands together. Just really connect with that body of yours. We’ve been talking about your body. Bring that relationship to the forefront of your mind. Tune into it.
I invite you to place your hands on your heart, tune into your heart, take a nice deep breath in through your nose. And then just pause if you can hold it there. Think if there’s like a string at the top of your head and just lengthen your spine, open up your chest. Whenever you feel like you need to, start that exhale out your mouth, long and slow. Remember, this is signaling to your nervous system: it’s okay to relax.
And again, inhaling deeply through your nose. And then hold that second inhale for as long as you feel is necessary, just being still, lengthening your spine, and then exhaling long and slow out your mouth. And continue at your own pace.
And remember, there are so many different breathing exercises, different numbers you can count, different ways to hold. And again, it’s doing what feels true and correct for you. Because believe me, there were times when I did breathing practices that I held for a really long time. And then there are other times where it’s like, “Nope, don’t want to hold it all. I’m just gonna keep it going.” So again, honor where you are on your path and journey. And definitely be tuning into you so that you know what actually is best for you.
So if you’re recognizing yourself as a sensitive woman, I do have that entry pathway into my Essentials Course, *Your Sensitivity Is Intelligent Design*. It’s a 5-module, 26-lesson, science-informed course. If you’re ready to understand your unique sensitive nervous system — it is not a flaw to fix, it is an intentional design to understand. And we actually have our first seasonal threshold gathering on the summer solstice. So when you enroll in the Essentials Course, it’s included. You have a full year of the Sensitivity Re-Alignment Spiral gatherings. And so the first one will be on the summer solstice.
And yeah, you can find everything about that and my other offerings at realignwithmelissa.com.
And so before we close, I invite you to return to your breath again and again, and to your body, and to what feels true for you. There’s nothing you need to fix. Just notice what’s here for you.
Where the heart leads, the body remembers, and the soul awakens.
As a reminder, we are here together to rise, reclaim, remember.
And as always, I’m so grateful that you are here. So take good care of you. Much love and light.
